Another year older.

I just reached my goal of getting my essay up to 2000 words today. Only 500 more to go (well I see it as 300 words to go since my conclusion tends to be around 200 words and is a piece of cake to write, referencing is another story though. Since I'm a 3rd year, we're expected to have around 15-20+ references for every essay). I'm dreading the essay I have to write over Christmas though, a 3000 word essay plus I need to begin my 6000-8000 word dissertation. Oh the joys of being in your last year of your undergrad degree.

I realised that it's getting increasingly hard for me to sit down and settle straight into work. You know, I found out today that I actually need to procrastinate for about 2-3 hours before I open my essay and get working on it. Once I open my Macbook, I have to do other things on it before I even remember to open the document I was working on. FML. I do other things such as blogging on here, scrolling through Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook (I don't even know why I exist on Facebook anymore, it's just to keep in contact with a few people that I actually talk to properly, but other than that... It's useless and a complete waste of my time. Actually, Facebook is becoming really creepy, since when can you see EVERYONE who has viewed your group message, it says something like "seen by 97" and if you click that, a whole list of people who has read your message but has effectively ignored you comes up /rant/rant/rant). 

So yeah, procrastination is good for you, guys. Don't worry about not getting work done, just do what I do - "start" at around 3pm, procrastinate until 6pm and then start some work. Hopefully you'll be like me and finish around this time despite "starting" 6 hours ago... You can even tell your parents that you've been at it since 3pm and only finished now, they'll think you've been working hard for 6 hours non stop and might reward you with something. Hohoho.

Happy end of November, guys!

My (not-so-homely) Home.

Ok so if you've been reading a few of my old entries you should know that I was having my bedroom refurbished. Not sure if I've mentioned but from having my bedroom refurbished, Mum has decided to have the whole house refurbished whilst we're at it.

Luckily we have some really nice builders who go the extra mile to make our lives easier.

Anyway, I made this post to show you the state of my destroyed house (and the procrastinate some more, this essay really doesn't want to be completed...)

So.. If you were to visit my house, you'd see this stunning staircase...

With no carpet...

This is my living room...

We've basically moved the upstairs downstairs, just imagine the contents of your upstairs (if you have one) being spread around downstairs. We literally have about 5% living space. Our 2nd living room isn't as bad as this, about 70% of the stuff is down here, suitcases full of clothes next door. Bleh. Believe me, finding things in this mess is a headache - Mum packed everything away without considering what we may need so... Take yesterday for example, I needed a hole punch and since it's in one of these 20 bin bags full of stuff... Let's just say I drove to Tesco and bought a new one in my pyjamas instead. Oh yes, I have no clothes. I only managed to dig the suitcases with my clothes out this morning :(

WELCOME TO MY TEMPORARY BEDROOM. Yeah, the small pathetic looking bed in the far side of this picture is mine. So tragic.

This is my landing. Done today, they stripped all the wallpaper off and now the walls in my hall and landing look like victims of a fire attack.

On the plus side, floorboards are being put in tomorrow in my room and everywhere else upstairs. Yay. Progress +30%. 

Not really liking the idea of waking up at 8-9am every morning so far.

How to stop having a bad day.

Talk to someone about it. Seriously.

I find opening up to people the best therapy for having bad days. There's always this someone I can rely on to vent my frustrations to. I wish I had more people in my life like that.

IF YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY, GO SPILL EVERYTHING TO SOMEONE! IT WORKS! GO FOR IT.

I'm home now, in a much better mood than when I left and when I made that blog entry earlier. I even helped my Mum write her email. I found spending the whole day at uni and a few hours at my friend's house just away from all the stress at home really works. I was in a really bad mood but being immersed in my essay and managing to add 600 words to it today has actually really heightened my mood.

I was talking to my friend about marriage and a whole bunch of other things as well, we have such similar opinions on life despite leading very different lives. I really respect everything that she's done and the hard work she puts in, I might not know about all her problems in life but based on what she has told me I really respect her. I assume that her family problems are much more complicated than mine because there's more than just the regular arguing with Mum and Dad involved. But after hearing how she has changed through the first 2 years at university has really made me reflect on myself and how much I have changed through these 2 years. University is what you make of it, for some like myself and my friend, it's a life changing opportunity that makes you find yourself and find out who you are. For others, they come out of university still the same person. Maybe my time for maturation was these past 2 years. Talking to my friend today has really cheered me up, she didn't do anything lavish or specific to cheer me up but just being there to chat to and talk about other things (we talked about nerdy stuff like science and how medicine can be bad for you - I honestly never imagined myself to want to talk about academics outside of university time) has really helped.

No longer the once angsty teen who would flip out and do crazy things when situations were bad (I really regret things I've done in the past), I feel like I've learnt to accept and open up to people more, being honest with other people, being mature, not holding grudges against silly things, taking other people's feelings into consideration.

You live and you learn. Whatever bad things may happen to you, good things are sure to happen somewhere down the line.

Having a really bad day today.

Anyone want to cheer me up?

I got kicked out of my house today at 9am (well technically, I kicked myself out because I couldn't handle the atmosphere anymore).

My day started off really badly, Mum came into my room throwing all my clothes around, she was packing my clothes up because the skip will be here later to throw my wardrobe away. Of course, no one could sleep through that so I got up, trying really hard not to lose it but I just got angrier and angrier in the bathroom.

Just a few things...

She was nagging yesterday about me having all my clothes piled up in my brother's room.
- I don't have a bedroom right now, how am I supposed to put my clothes all in one single neat pile when my brother's room is already a tip. I wish she would just accept that I'm going to be messy especially when I've been put into a room that's already messy.

She was constantly complaining about the amount of clothes I have.
- In case you forgot, I'm a girl. Sorry I don't have 1 pair of jeans and 1 t-shirt to last me forever. Sorry for ever existing.

She's constantly complaining about how much mess there is.
- In case you forgot, YOU have decided to get the whole house re-floored. You could've just done my room and the rest later like you planned but you should've expected there to be mess.

She's complaining about the amount of rubbish that's been kept behind that we don't use.
- Sorry but you're the one that decided to keep it. I mean, she pulled out an old ceiling light that she doesn't want to throw away but she'll never use it again because the original reason for why we changed it was because it doesn't work... But wait wait... If it doesn't work, why are you keeping it? (Yes, this applies to a whole list of things that she's been shouting about - she even kept our first ever game console - some dusty ancient MegaDrive ohohoho).

She yelled at me this morning because I needed to get a jacket out that she had packed away (I knew in trying to get it, she would cause a scene).
- She even said "I should've picked out my clothes earlier", well sorry but if you wake up unexpectedly at 7am and decide to pack ALL my clothes away into the loft whilst I'm ASLEEP. There's nothing I can do about it. I should've just gone out in my jeans and t-shirt and come back with a flu and see how she likes it. I think I'd do a good job in infecting everyone. So unreasonable.

The last one there made me mad as hell, I drove to uni at 9am because I couldn't handle staying in that house with my Mum bouncing off all the walls, slamming cupboards, taking out her angst on everyone and everything. I finished my lecture about 30 minutes ago but I don't really plan on going home until much later today. I know Mum hates mess but can't you just be reasonable and deal with it appropriately?

This was beginning to sound like some melodramatic teenage I-HATE-MY-MOM post but it really isn't. I've even provided logical arguments to defend myself against her crazy unreasonableness and illogical actions.

Someone rent me their house for the next few weeks. I don't want to go home. At all.

Just read this insane article on "tutor kings and queens"

Can you imagine teachers having the same status as movie stars? Thought not.

The article is basically about famous tutors in Hong Kong who are pretty much regarded as celebrities, rolling in millions because they're clever and improve people's grades at school.

If you've been to Hong Kong, you'll have seen it everywhere. Tutors are one of the biggest things in Hong Kong, their faces are literally everywhere, on gigantic billboards, on the sides of buses, in shop windows - you name it. It's ridiculous how much of a cultural difference there is compared to here, teachers here don't (or rarely even) become millionaires. It's the competitiveness of getting a place at university over there that creates so much pressure on the need for good grades and naturally, if school isn't doing it for your kid, you'd employ a tutor to help them improve on top of normal schooling.

But besides being smart, these people are judged for their appearances too. If you're clever and good looking, you're more likely to be employed (or wanted) by students. I think this attractiveness thing is universal when it comes to employment anywhere, studies have shown that you're more likely to be hired if you're attractive (of course, this isn't the right way to do things nor is it fair but hey, we're all human).

I'm just laughing at how these teachers don't dress like teachers. The article says they all wear designer wear and if you saw them in the street you'd think they were rich business men/women not tutors. Teachers being treated like celebrities is quite an amazing thing in my opinion, it's not something I see everywhere. I remember when I heard about making tons of money in Hong Kong and how I should become an English teacher over there (English is really valued in HK, if you speak both fluently, you're really highly valued over there - hint hint to those BBC/ABC/CBCs out there), my initial reaction was that I couldn't believe a teacher could have the potential to earn millions. But after witnessing the pressure of studying, the high demand for tuition on top of schooling and the emphasis and competitiveness of landing a place in a HK based university - I can see why people would be willing to pay so much for some super clever tutor to come and help. Although I don't entirely agree with the celebrity status awarded to such people, I'd rather see these people become rich and famous rather than some other Z-list celebrities these days (or the majority of "celebrities" out there today, in fact).

But at the same time, I really don't like this idea of glamorising teaching, sure they should get paid, but maybe not millions and as for celebrity status - I don't know. Teaching pupils should be a rewarding thing but being able to earn so much money from it might pollute some minds of tutors who might just end up 'doing-it-for-the-money' and forget about the purpose of teaching. I mean, can you imagine sending one of these glamorised, multi-millionaire tutors over to Uganda to teach children in poverty for no pay? The meaning of teaching should be the same worldwide but the purpose and motivation is being corrupted by money.

In the end, tutors being a big thing in HK (and other places in Asia - the article mentions a few places but HK is where I've witnessed it the most) is pretty much no different than plastic surgery being a big thing in South Korea - one emphasises the importance of education, the other emphasises the importance of having double eyelids, higher nose bridges and larger foreheads.

You guys can read this article here - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-20085558

Roar.

I hate Mondays. With a passion.

The only thing I'm thankful for is that I don't have 9am lectures. At all... FOR THIS WHOLE YEAR.

For you anti-morning people (like myself), do you ever stop and wonder how you managed to get through primary and secondary school waking up at 7am and getting into school for 8:40am. The heck?

Anyway, I felt particularly stressed today, just this morning I got to lectures and my friend was all like "you look knackered". I guess the extent of my stress is finally beginning to show through. With that said, my spirits went down when I opened up the lecture and saw a 40 something slide lecture and I was like "oh my god, nooooo" but it actually ended really quickly. I tuned into the 2nd part of the lecture more because I realised I had just been typing out everything that was on the slides for the first half, oops.

I got home and all hell broke loose. My parents are doing the wallpaper for my room at the moment but Mum is being a complete stresshead about everything. It annoys me because when she gets stressed she takes it out on everyone around her, everyone that's helping her. I was trying to help, constantly telling her she needs to cut more off the wallpaper for it to fit around some awkward corner - of course, she doesn't listen and still insists that everything she said is correct. I'm just like "you need to cut more, you need to cut more, you need to cut more..." and what does she do? She cuts like 0.5mm off. Each time, so she's been doing the same piece of wallpaper for about 2 hours now. Unbelievable. I left the room because she was taking out her stress on me - if you don't want my help then have fun spending the next 3 hours on the same piece of wallpaper. Mum doesn't cooperate with other people -____-.

I need to do my essay now.

ENOUGH.

I just cannot physically concentrate today.

The weather is ugly, my Mum is making a racket cleaning her room, my essay is going nowhere because I've just realised I have no interest in organisational psychology, the easiest part of it so far was writing the introduction, I'm still getting used to my keyboard cover, my brother will be home soon with his girlfriend, I'm having hotpot tonight, I'm going furniture shopping tomorrow, MY ESSAY STILL NEEDS TO BE DONE. I have a project meeting next Wednesday, I'm putting my dissertation on hold until Christmas break, my placement is starting in a week, I STILL HAVE MY ESSAY TO DO.

My birthday is the least exciting thing right now because I'll be slaving away doing my essay on the Saturday I turn 21. Sob sob sob.

Life just got 2% harder.

On the up side, I still have money *gasp*, normally by this time of the year I would be broke as hell but maybe because I've been doing close to nothing because of all my deadlines, my money is just sitting in my account waiting to be spent but is not being spent. I actually forgot I had money at one point, I used to be so obsessed with checking my account to make sure I'm not overspending (since my Mum was reaaaaally concerned about me being a spendaholic during the first year of uni where my loan was spent on things I didn't even know about). I'm getting more money in a few weeks time, but since I don't spend much anymore, I'll be moving half of it to my ISA funds. I'm so proud of myself, I've gotten out of the vicious cycle of spending-too-much-when-you-are-a-university-student. Actually I've been spending my money on technology more than clothes and food. I never spend on food - WHO NEEDS FOOD RIGHT? IF YOU DON'T EAT, YOU LOSE WEIGHT AND YOU GET TO KEEP YOUR MONEY - DOUBLE WIN. Nah, I'm kidding, I just don't like spending money on food when you have no one to eat out with. Meaning, I'd never go and intentionally buy lunch when I'm on my own (unless I have those long lab hours where I'm sitting at a desk coding *cries*).

Off topic but I love every one of you that reads my crazy blogs. Even if you're all stalkers that don't know me/know me but are still interested in what goes on in my boring life.

I LOVE YOU ALL. ALL OF YOU. YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE INSIDE AND OUT, REMEMBER THAT.

I think I've gone a bit crazy sitting here trying to do some work...