Long story short, I've been ill for about 3 weeks now. I never imagined how hard it is to juggle so many commitments in my life. Reflecting on this, I came to the realisation that this year (by year, I meant academic year, so starting from Sept where all my stress levels skyrocketed...) has been the hardest year ever in life. Juggling a masters degree, my family, work commitments and making time to see my boyfriend who is quite literally an owl because of his night shift is the hardest thing ever. I've probably ranted and raved about all this already but looking forward, I blame my life for the reason I'm ill.
I've got a pretty packed February as now I have 2 projects to do for uni (1 mini one) and 3 pieces of coursework to hand in by April. Plus, I'm flying to Hong Kong in 2 weeks to attend my Grandma's funeral. PLUS, I'm at a possible conflict with work as they haven't approved my holiday request for that weekend of the funeral, my line manager has no power to let me have time off so he's taking the issue to the store manager tomorrow. I mean, I won't sit and complain about him being useless and insensitive because he can't let me have my holiday, I fully understand that line managers at this place are pretty much on the same level as us store assistants in some aspects. I just hope that the store manager is more sensitive about it and lets me have time off, if she happens to refuse then I think I'll take the issue to a corporate level and consult HR about the problem. I know bereavement time is totally dependent on company, my workplace lists nothing about bereavement time allowance so this issue is kinda shady. It's not like I'm telling them a day before I leave though, I'm telling them 2 weeks in advance here so they have all the time to make changes to the rota and try get someone in to replace me. I really see no reason apart from pure laziness as to why my store manager would say no to be honest.
Because I've written so much on the issue here, I guess you can tell this is really stressing me out right now. My boyfriend said I should just quit and he will support me financially - he's so sweet and makes me laugh through the stressful times but I'd really feel bad if he had to support me, going to him every time I need money to buy something... I really wouldn't like that, I know my family and his family wouldn't either - why should he have to after all? We're not husband and wife, he's not my dependent. I'd rather fight until they fire me before I leave that place. It's not the best job in the world but this is more about my rights and them being fair (or unfair) towards me - yeah, HR power lol.
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So it's Chinese New Year today and I'm home alone until later because my parents have gone to help their friend with their take-away business. My brother is probably on his way home. Sigh, sucks being lonely on CNY. It brings me back to think about last year though, Chinese new year was the beginning of me and my boyfriend, the endless night walking around and getting lost around London after clubbing and ending up snuggled up back at my place. The start of everything. Looking back, it doesn't even feel that long but we've nearly been together for a year (next month) - it's a shame I'll be in HK for Valentine's day and our anniversary. I know he's sad about it too but because it's my Grandma's funeral, I have no other choice. But at least by the time I get back, it will be 1 year since we've been together.
Earlier, I got allocated my supervisor for my project to talk about my proposal, I'll probably do this closer to the time I leave for HK - it would be good to get to meet and know my supervisor and to get the dreaded feedback for my proposal (which I really thought I failed - well, I still think I've failed it even though I got allocated a supervisor, her Westminster page isn't really related to my field of study in gender equality pay... apart form the word "culture" in her profile lol). But then again, there were 2 people on the list that didn't even get a supervisor, either they didn't even submit a proposal or they were the ones that failed it. Hopefully I won't have to change too much about my project otherwise it's going to be a pain in the ass and will add to my forever rising stress levels.
I've got a mini project to do on developing my interviewing skills too. Annoyingly, I have to go out of my way to video record 3 interviews to prove I've done it and to prove that I've somewhat "developed" lol. Why are these projects so annoying at uni? I've got until April to do this but I plan to do most of it in February anyway because knowing me, I'll spend all of March writing it up.
Also, for my first piece of coursework, I've had to contact the corporate side of H&M to ask for them to help me in my assignment - I know the website says they don't help people for their essays or dissertations but since I work there, I thought they'd be more lenient and surprisingly, the guy I contacted was really nice and willing to help. He said he'd even help set up a meeting with himself or an area recruiter to help me get the information that I need - how nice corporate side of H&M is... Nothing compared to in stores. I'm actually quite excited for this meeting as well as doing the assignment because it will showcase my HRM knowledge and abilities and can possibly help me get a job there in the future since they recruit internally. Just hoping my manager doesn't fire me for going to a funeral before I even graduate from uni.
So much to do, so little time.
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