Write up rambles.

It's currently 5:50am and I haven't slept yet.

Believe me, I have actually attempted to fix this damn sleeping pattern of mine but I think my nocturnal instincts are definitely stronger. At least I'm being productive at this time of day and I'm proud to say that after weeks of procrastination, I've finally begun the write up to my final piece of essay/project/academic writing EVER. Just thought I'd do a bit of blogging before I sleep, I've done around 1000 words out of 10,000 so that's an achievement I guess. I'm 1/10th of the way there, woo hoo. It actually pains me to think that if I did 1000 words a day, this project could be completed in 10 days - but obviously that won't happen.

I've actually been stressing over very minor things recently. For instance, for this project, I have to collect data from a questionnaire - never done it before but I've been heavily stressed because I'm worried about insufficient sample sizes and failing my project because of it. Maybe it's the way my supervisor worded things but she said I need 100 responses as if 100 was the minimum needed to pass this project. Having looked at the mark scheme and constantly convinced myself that sample size is not going to determine whether I fail or pass, I've come to the conclusion that at the end of the day, I'm going to have to work with what I got whether it be 20 responses or 50. I guess I'm just scared of falling at the last hurdle and because this project is so heavily weighted I feel so much pressure. Also because this is a "masters project" I feel like I have to produce something that is worthy of publication. Sigh. So much unnecessary stress right now.

I mean, my topic was chosen on a whim because of the tight deadline but it's not as if I have no interest in it... I'm just slightly annoyed at the way this masters course has been organised, it really feels like it's suited to people working in HRM already - I've probably said it before but they use things like "organisational focus" and "coursework based on organisation" as means of assessment - it's just not possible for someone like me who doesn't even work in the industry. As well, the criteria for this assessment has to be organisation or industry based - I've chosen the education industry but I'm struggling to find mothers working in education to fill out my questionnaire as mine is about maternity policies and flexible working, they've made me choose such a tight demographic that I'm really struggling to even imagine myself with 100 responses. I've actually gone and sent an email to my supervisor asking her if I will fail if I don't get 100 responses LOL.

Anyway, I should really get some sleep and stop worrying, I'm satisfied with the amount I've done for today so tomorrow will be a new day for me.

And if by chance there are any mothers working in education in the UK reading this, please fill out my questionnaire :) https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/H5MJSYZ

Busy week.

It's been a while since I've had a busy busy week. I feel good because it's been too long that I've sat on my arse most of the week doing nothing but working on my project (still less than 10% done...) I've recently returned from a short trip to Newquay with my family. Not sure why they chose Newquay but it was quite nice, had lovely sunshine everyday apart fro the last - we chose to see some limestone caves in Torquay before heading back to London.

I feel like I always blog when I get started on my project. I'm shitting myself for tomorrow because I'm meeting my supervisor to talk more about my project. I just hope this new found idea (found like, 2 hours ago) holds well and that she likes it. I pretty much had a lightbulb moment when I was stressing out because every single idea I had for a research was falling apart from insufficient research, someone already having done it, or I'm too constrained by time and resources to do it. But finally, I think I have something that is actually possible to do in the short time I have. It's literally struck me that I have less than 2 months to get my data together and write up the 8000 words. I'm even contemplating on paying SurveyMonkey to distribute my questionnaire before I go on holiday so I can come back to a lot of responses and get analysing. That's how serious life has gotten. I just hope luck is with me tomorrow because luck really hasn't been on my side this week. I keep getting stressed over little things, worrying over everything, being attacked by evil mosquitos and now today, I found out I have to do some long ass routine to clean the inflammation out of my left eye. Can you believe it's been over 2 months since I've been seen by a specialist. Also, Tesco pharmacy really pissed me off with the amount of time they took to give me my damn prescription. Rant rant rant.

Anyway, I just hope for something positive tomorrow. I just want to get started on this project so I can relax a little and actually have a bit of summer to enjoy you know?