Mixed emotions.

So after finishing Masters (for good hopefully), I've been having mixed emotions about life.

I've started the long process of job hunting after having a 2 week break - could say I was just savouring the last weeks of freedom that I might never experience again once I start working. I've done applications online, been searching for positions, doing some interview prep etc. Surprisingly for myself personally, I'm not stressed at all about finding a job, I'm not really in a difficult position financially as these days I don't really have anything to buy for myself. I get paid peanuts at my part time job just so I can save it or use it to see friends, the boyfriend or buy things that need replacing when they break (i.e. that overly expensive hairdryer). So I feel completely and absolutely fine and in peace about getting a full time job in HR - I know it will come naturally with the amount of jobs I apply for.

But then there's this problem with my mum.

My parents are retired and my mum really wants me and my brother to work ASAP to provide for them. It's an Asian tradition in case anyone is reading this like "they want you to provide for them?? What about yourself???" I guess this is why traditional Asian parents push their children to study something like medicine or law - those high paying jobs so they can provide for them and buy a house for themselves. So even though my mum doesn't directly say to me "why aren't you job hunting?" every time she sees me sat on the sofa watching dramas or on my phone, I kinda feel the pressure of her judging me when I'm not physically doing anything that is related to job hunting. That's where the "stress" is coming from. I can't exactly tell her I believe that a job will naturally come to me with time as she'll perceive it as laziness.

I'm not going to lie though, I really enjoy having my own time everyday like this. I had doubts earlier about whether I am really ready to start taking a full time job. Sometimes I see it, but some other times I just can't imagine myself working yet, I feel like there's something else I need to do before I work.

Reaaaally thought about having pizza earlier but...

I'm trying my hardest to save up by only treating myself to 2 things a month (excluding pressies from the boyfriend teehee). So it works out as having around £100 to spend on food and things for myself per month. Gotta pay my phone bill as well as travel so realistically, it's about £60 to spend on myself (excluding food... so maybe £50 to spend on myself a month).

I've gotten quite good with budgeting ever since I got back from Corfu, I set myself a target to save back the amount I "borrowed" from my savings and it's actually going really well. Not judging anyone but I really don't know how people can have 0 savings at all and just live off the money they earn. I just feel really uncomfortable even though I have interest-free overdraft to fall back on, but everytime I hit even -£1 I feel really guilty about it. If you are constantly hitting overdraft now, what will happen when you don't get overdraft anymore? I'm glad my mum lectured me about the importance of saving up after my first year at uni (I went WAY overboard with spending, ended up with like £500 saved out of the £8k I had... FML).

So now whenever I buy something, I really think about whether I really want it or am I just impulse buying? Same goes for when my boyfriend offers to buy me something as well. Don't want to waste money on things to see it sitting in my room unused ever again. About the pizza today, I was really only going to have it if there was no alternative. My mum told me there was leftover rice so I made fried rice with it. I'm pretty proud of myself for not wasting money on pizza (would've been like £13) and using it to treat myself to something useful instead. It's damn difficult with a part time job especially but I really want to have the same attitude towards saving as I do now when I get a full time job.

Really want to start saving towards a deposit to move out with the boyfriend - that's pretty much our long term goal.

Bants.

So I went to watch The Inbetweeners Movie 2 the other day with the boyf as I had wanted to ever since it came out but I had my annoying project to complete so I couldn't.

It. Is. Hilarious.

Wouldn't say it's as good or funny as 22 Jump Street but it's pretty damn close. Not going to launch into some big review about the movie but if you're a fan of The Inbetweeners then definitely go watch it. Even if you've never seen the TV series or the first movie, still, go watch it. My boyfriend hasn't seen a single episode or the first movie and still enjoyed it. I'd really love to see a 3rd movie but idk if that will happen.

Subject of this post is bants.

A couple of years back when I was still a single-ready-to-mingle, I joined a dating website called BeautifulPeople.com - you've probably heard of this website somewhere on BBC or DailyMail (more likely Daily Mail since they always make articles on shit like this). But anyway, I joined for the bants because this dating website is not just anyone's dating website. No. It's only for the beautiful people of the internet. Does this mean I think I'm beautiful? Nope, not at all. Let me just explain how this website even works. In order to be eligible to join, you have to register a picture of yourself and members of the website RATE you in the space of 24 hours and if you pass a certain score, congrats, you're beautiful and welcome to the website, here's some champagne. I was just curious as to what is deemed beautiful by these people. I was accepted but I forgot what score I got, from then I thought I'd just play around with the website and see what happens.

IMO, the website is pretttttty damn creepy itself. Of course, I didn't join it hoping to bag some sexy hunky bachelor, I joined it out of pure curiosity and to see what all the fuss was about. The website shows you how many and who viewed your profile, you can send winks, smileys etc to people you like and message them (you have to subscribe and pay to use certain features like messaging so...). I didn't particular start fishing for people but I did have fun rating people (I rated everyone as beautiful btw, I wasn't there to judge people on looks, just there to see what kinda people join). Logged on a couple of weeks later to find my profile bombarded with creepy men spamming me with winks and about 4 messages (which I couldn't even read as I am not paying £8 to read 4 messages) and a bunch of guys RATING my profile picture. Ugh, the website was kinda revolting in some ways. There's an events section that's exclusive to members where they host parties for people wanting to meet other beautiful counterparts and hopefully find what they're looking for. I just hate this whole rating thing, why do people need to rate others on looks and shit like they're some product on a shelf? IDG the point of this website apart from beautiful people looking to make some beautiful babies.

The only thing I gained from this website was 1% of self confidence. Still, it's pretty bants when I come back to this website 2 years later, some of the pictures I had on there though, can't believe people thought they were... nice.

This Masters experience.

I'm finally done. Done with education, done with essays, done with all this stress around deadlines for handing in work.

It's been a really weird experience this year. In some ways, it's comparable to 3rd year of uni but in other ways it's completely different. Having changed field and university, it was like jumping into a new subject with no prior knowledge or background of what even HR is. Well, I had an idea it was just those people in companies that deal with CVs, payroll etc. I must admit that this year learning about HRM has been insightful, enriching and interesting in its own ways. But with its ups, there are also downs. I just wanted to talk about the course in general and the way I see Westminster teaches it. It's going to be quite critical because I had a long think about what I really hated about the way this university teaches these business masters.

So without all the waffle, the main issue I had was that the course is really geared towards people already working in HR. If I knew this beforehand, I probably wouldn't have done it there. Working for a company will make your whole degree at Westminster about 10x easier as you can participate in lectures more, base pretty much EVERY single piece of your coursework on your company and of course, pass with flying colours on your project because it's considered empirical and relevant to the course. If you don't, well you'll probably struggle and your work might even be unimpressive and uninteresting to lecturers because you're given a boring alternative coursework question to explore. Also, your project might be dull and uninteresting because you'll have to base it on a sector or get into contact with an organisation to help you - basically it'll be tough collecting data and you'll have about 100 methodological problems and might not even break the 60 mark because of these reasons. That's the way I was made to feel anyway. People working in HR and are funded by their companies to study this course (kinda explains why it costs £10,000 to study it) are advantaged in some ways. I've also heard that lecturers tend to favourite these group of part-time evening students that come after work to study because they contribute a lot more the in class discussions. In short, I just feel that whoever coordinated the course didn't think much about students that perhaps don't work in HR.

Second thing was the teaching delivered to us. Maybe my expectations were just high but coming from a top-ish university like Royal Holloway, I was expecting experts in the field of HR to teach but in the end I was taught by adults who just simply worked in HR for a number of years and went and completed a PhD in it afterwards. These people weren't well known in the literature of HR and some of them were just plain terrible at teaching. I had a lecturer that was absent for 70% of the course because she was ill. Of course I can't blame her for being ill but the person that covered her position didn't know a thing about the module and just taught out of the core textbook for the whole of the module. There could've been at least some communication between them no matter how bed-ridden she was. Lectures were ridiculously long as well, some of them did not even need to be so long. People were switched off by the 2nd hour so I don't really understand why lectures had to be 3 hours long. I felt like a lot of the time was taken through pointless in class activities and discussions. Again, most of these discussions seemed to benefit people that already work in HR because they were activities like "discuss with your group about your current organisational culture". I still remember the awkwardness from the table of people where none of them worked. Lecturers didn't even consider about those that didn't work and so they were just sat twiddling their thumbs until the end of discussion time. Wonderful.

I can't say I haven't learn anything from this course, although it was much more independent than undergraduate, I can say I was ready for it. I studied hard, read a lot, revised hard for exams like before, failed 2 pieces of coursework but still brought it back in the exam. It's been an eventful year because I've never actually failed anything before until masters. I guess it's the whole thought of "this degree costs £10,000" that makes you really work for it. But now it's over I feel a little bittersweet because I'm still going to be waiting for my degree classification and final project marks as well as having to attend the graduation. So I can't say I'm ready for the world of work yet, in fact I'm not. Just thinking about the future and applying for jobs scares me a little. People I used to go to school with have started working a long time ago but in my mind, I'm still in that school mode of studying, exams, coursework etc. Definitely going to find it difficult to adjust when I do start working, but hey, this is life right? Life has got to start at some point right?

I'm excited for the future... Working, saving up, moving out, getting married, having children, watching my children grow up. But I can already imagine there's going to be lots of humps and bumps on that road and I'm scared at the same time.

Hectic month.

If anyone actually stalks this blog, sorry for not blogging this past month. 

It's been sort of a rollercoaster for me as I started off in July writing my project and collecting questionnaire responses (oh I will rant about this soon), then I decided to leave my project half completed and jetted off to Corfu with my friends and boyfriend at the end of July and came back nice and brown at the beginning of August and launched straight into my project again and here I am now still doing this project with the deadline looming. 

So let's start from July, not sure if I've rambled on about this before but I possibly have the worst project supervisor in the whole world of education. I don't even care if she reads this somehow because I would love to let her know how utterly shite she is at doing her job as a supervisor. She doesn't answer emails promptly even though she knows how close my deadline is. At our meetings she offers her supposedly unwavering support for me because she knows the struggles I've been through from failing my proposal and not being able to start my project nice and early because I didn't even have a solid research question until July - but I have yet to see much support from her apart from answer my emails about meeting up. She feeds me useless information that I already know and doesn't offer to help with analysing my results together or even trying to explain to me what my methods of analysis are and how it relates to my question. I prepare well for these meetings, printing out 17 pages of SPSS output ready to discuss with her but she just rambles on about my methods and my progress and how "behind" I am (I'm actually not that behind in comparison to others in my course) and I fail to get anything productive out of the meeting. Anyway, long story short, I've ended up having to read about 100 different articles on factor analysis to try and draw some sort of pattern between my research question and the method because she wouldn't let me change my method of analysis as she deems it's "way too late to think that I have the wrong analysis method" (how hard is it to run a regression or another analysis on SPSS?). But finally, I've gotten somewhere at least in terms of analysis and interpretation with 0 help from my useless supervisor. 

As you might know, I was collecting responses via questionnaire - it's literally the hardest thing to do if you're not choosing a demographic that is widely available, let me tell you that. Despite all the worries and tears and blood and sweat from me trying to get the relevant people to answer my questionnaire, I got 75 responses which is more than I expected. Ran analyses and it was just about the acceptable level for sample size. I was overjoyed, could literally dance-around-the-room-by-myself-for-30 minutes type of overjoyed. Hurdle 1 of this project was surpassed. So then it got to the analysis part, I literally had a mental breakdown the day before yesterday because I had no idea how my research question can be answered by this method of analysis, must've spent 10 hours trawling through the internet for an answer. Stopped by a statistics forum for help and some guy started ridiculing my use of statistical language and claimed I was "lacking understanding" and "perhaps I should read more on factor analysis before attempting it", man fuck you. Seriously, I'm at a stats HELP FORUM for HELP, I never claimed I understood factor analysis or the language associated with it, I was asking for explanations and advice not whether I'm using statistical language correctly or not. Jeez. This is why I hate people. Internet people. 

Anyway, some nice guy managed to explain to me what I wanted to know and then he suggested using a different type of factor analysis (I knew there was 2 but the other one needs a special program that I didn't have). Tried using this program called R and I literally uninstalled it the second a blank white text/code box came up when I ran it. As if I have time to learn coding on top of finishing my project. Found a simpler one called AMOS and it involves drawingggg! I loved it, thought it was great fun and once you draw the diagram you just click calculate and it gives you all the stats and diagrams. Awesome. Then I had trouble understanding what the figures meant and just ended up changing my research question around to suit the method. Sigh. Now my life feels 40% easier than before. Now I'm FINALLYYYY at the discussion chapter of my project and have decided to call it a day. 

Wish I could've used this post to talk about my holiday in Corfu but I just had to get all this ranting out before I continue my project. All this pent up anger towards my useless supervisor, all this worry about failing my project, falling at the last hurdle, not meeting the deadline, spending days on reading about factor analysis rather than progressing with the word count on my project was definitely NOT good for my mental stability. 

Other than that, I welcome myself back to Blogger :) 

Write up rambles.

It's currently 5:50am and I haven't slept yet.

Believe me, I have actually attempted to fix this damn sleeping pattern of mine but I think my nocturnal instincts are definitely stronger. At least I'm being productive at this time of day and I'm proud to say that after weeks of procrastination, I've finally begun the write up to my final piece of essay/project/academic writing EVER. Just thought I'd do a bit of blogging before I sleep, I've done around 1000 words out of 10,000 so that's an achievement I guess. I'm 1/10th of the way there, woo hoo. It actually pains me to think that if I did 1000 words a day, this project could be completed in 10 days - but obviously that won't happen.

I've actually been stressing over very minor things recently. For instance, for this project, I have to collect data from a questionnaire - never done it before but I've been heavily stressed because I'm worried about insufficient sample sizes and failing my project because of it. Maybe it's the way my supervisor worded things but she said I need 100 responses as if 100 was the minimum needed to pass this project. Having looked at the mark scheme and constantly convinced myself that sample size is not going to determine whether I fail or pass, I've come to the conclusion that at the end of the day, I'm going to have to work with what I got whether it be 20 responses or 50. I guess I'm just scared of falling at the last hurdle and because this project is so heavily weighted I feel so much pressure. Also because this is a "masters project" I feel like I have to produce something that is worthy of publication. Sigh. So much unnecessary stress right now.

I mean, my topic was chosen on a whim because of the tight deadline but it's not as if I have no interest in it... I'm just slightly annoyed at the way this masters course has been organised, it really feels like it's suited to people working in HRM already - I've probably said it before but they use things like "organisational focus" and "coursework based on organisation" as means of assessment - it's just not possible for someone like me who doesn't even work in the industry. As well, the criteria for this assessment has to be organisation or industry based - I've chosen the education industry but I'm struggling to find mothers working in education to fill out my questionnaire as mine is about maternity policies and flexible working, they've made me choose such a tight demographic that I'm really struggling to even imagine myself with 100 responses. I've actually gone and sent an email to my supervisor asking her if I will fail if I don't get 100 responses LOL.

Anyway, I should really get some sleep and stop worrying, I'm satisfied with the amount I've done for today so tomorrow will be a new day for me.

And if by chance there are any mothers working in education in the UK reading this, please fill out my questionnaire :) https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/H5MJSYZ

Busy week.

It's been a while since I've had a busy busy week. I feel good because it's been too long that I've sat on my arse most of the week doing nothing but working on my project (still less than 10% done...) I've recently returned from a short trip to Newquay with my family. Not sure why they chose Newquay but it was quite nice, had lovely sunshine everyday apart fro the last - we chose to see some limestone caves in Torquay before heading back to London.

I feel like I always blog when I get started on my project. I'm shitting myself for tomorrow because I'm meeting my supervisor to talk more about my project. I just hope this new found idea (found like, 2 hours ago) holds well and that she likes it. I pretty much had a lightbulb moment when I was stressing out because every single idea I had for a research was falling apart from insufficient research, someone already having done it, or I'm too constrained by time and resources to do it. But finally, I think I have something that is actually possible to do in the short time I have. It's literally struck me that I have less than 2 months to get my data together and write up the 8000 words. I'm even contemplating on paying SurveyMonkey to distribute my questionnaire before I go on holiday so I can come back to a lot of responses and get analysing. That's how serious life has gotten. I just hope luck is with me tomorrow because luck really hasn't been on my side this week. I keep getting stressed over little things, worrying over everything, being attacked by evil mosquitos and now today, I found out I have to do some long ass routine to clean the inflammation out of my left eye. Can you believe it's been over 2 months since I've been seen by a specialist. Also, Tesco pharmacy really pissed me off with the amount of time they took to give me my damn prescription. Rant rant rant.

Anyway, I just hope for something positive tomorrow. I just want to get started on this project so I can relax a little and actually have a bit of summer to enjoy you know?

3 drafts later...

I actually intended on blogging 2 days ago but then mid-writing I felt like, what's the point in it? What am I even blogging about? Why am I just repeating the same jargon I wrote last time?

So I'll blog tonight since I'm in a blogging mood.

I'm feeling a little less stressed as I've actually got a plan together for my project. This is why I could never ever go into research because I don't feel independent enough or creative enough to come up with research questions and follow through with the research. It's heavily stressful because unlike 3rd year, I'm totally on my own, my own research, my own topic, my own everything. Just me and a supervisor really. It's totally different from when I basically had my research question handed to me on a plate and worked with 2 others on the same project, just the write up was independent. This is what it feels like to be completely not spoon fed as they call it. I've had so much trouble as I failed my proposal, it wasn't viable as a research question and I'm scared this one will fall through too, but I've tried my best to make it as robust as possible so we'll see. At least I have a supportive supervisor I guess. Time is running out as my resubmission deadline is 7th July. So as you can see, I've been very stressed over the past 2 weeks, trying to stop myself from endless procrastination, failing to fix my overly screwed up sleeping pattern (and failing to do so, it's now 3am and I'm still wide awake), having to live life with this dodgy eye...

On the subject of the dodgy eye, I'm finally getting seen by a GP next Monday about it. I find it odd that I'm being seen by a GP and not a specialist at a hospital though. Maybe this GP is a specialist... idk how these things work.

My skin has been breaking out like mad ever since I ran out of patches. I've been too lazy to get some more but I'll remember to next Monday since I'm going to the GP anyway. I've just been treating my skin a little better by drinking tons of water, did a clay mask yesterday when my skin felt bad and just going to keep my routine with masks and stuff until aunt flo comes. Sigh, the patch is so unsightly but I don't really have another option except the pill but I went a bit delusional and shit last time I was on the pill (you can read my entry on Microgynon 30 if you scroll back a bit). Felt myself going insane through that month.

Cannot wait to get started on this project and then holiday to Corfu in August. Really need a week away from London this year as I realised I may be employed after August and then that would mean no more holidays, lazing around and stuff. Reality is going to slap me in the face hard when I start looking for a job and hopefully working and earning a steady income.

I'm not mentally ready for this.

Overtime = Overkill

Did overtime at work this week for 2 days, let's just say I'm never doing that again. Day 1 - finished 15 minutes later than usual, day 2 - finished 30 minutes later than usual. This place struggles when it isn't even busy. Day 1 I had to help ground floor because they're always bloody slow. Day 2 I actually ran away from helping anyone until I was caught and forced to menswear to help out LOL. The manager there who used to be my evil team leader that made my life hell when I started, saw me come down to help and gave the biggest smile (fake smile) and told me to help with folding. I was like oh okay easy folding, at least it beats helping ground floor clear dumps. He made my life hell again by being super picky with the folding, I mean some of these menswear clothes are HUGE XL size and I was trying my best with the folding board and all because the buttons weren't centred he made me re-fold them. Can't really complain though because folding is probably the easiest thing I've helped out with when we've been forced to stay behind. Because I did overtime, this week feels shorter than usual for me, back to work in another 2 days. Sob.

I've quit league for a while because of my eye, too much gaming is obviously going to affect my eyes. I'm being referred to a hospital as it still hasn't gotten much better despite having spent around £40-£50 on eye drops that did nothing to my eye. I read online that the eye is supposed to be able to heal minor injuries overnight, but I guess this problem I have isn't as superficial as first suggested by the optician. Sigh, I just want to know what's wrong with it so I can see properly again, it's getting really annoying working and going out with 1 dodgy eye, I can't even look at people properly because one eye is blurred LOL I just hope people don't see that I'm having trouble seeing. Awks.

Been addicted to Brave Frontier, it's a phone game but so addictive. I guess that's been my replacement for league at the moment. Not really missing league as I was starting to get bored of it but I just play when my boyfriend plays now, skills are going to get rusty. I WILL BE BACK.

Changed my bedding just now. I thought I'd be cool and rep the H&M Home department by buying a duvet cover but turns out this duvet cover is a little too big for my single sized duvet o__O I've learnt that duvets are not universally sized after all. I wonder how many people that buy duvet covers from H&M take them home and find that it doesn't even fit their duvet - mind you, not many people bring them back for a refunds so... maybe it's just me that has a weird sized duvet. This duvet cover is so weird as well, it has 2 gaping holes at the top of the duvet for what? I have no idea. Swedish people have weird designs (I'm assuming Swedish people designed it as H&M is a Swedish company after all). Guess I'm just going to deal with it, it's not too big length wise so it's okay as long as I don't wake up with the filling halfway down the cover. Don't ever buy polyester duvet covers guys - 100% cotton all the way.

Watched the new X-Men movie today with the boyf, we didn't really see what the hype was about. Having watched First Class yesterday before coming out to watch Days of the Future Past today, I actually thought the former was better by a mile. Maybe the hype was around Jennifer Lawrence as Mistique as she had a much bigger role in the plot but the plot itself was better in First Class.

Anyway, this was just a short entry to compensate for my lack of/inconsistency in blogging recently, been enjoying too much freedom that there wasn't even much to blog about besides my laziness. Now I'm off to continue my last days of freedom by watching Catfish.

Post-exam rambles.

A bit late but yay exams are over. I'm not entirely free though, so I'm not 100% thrilled that exams are over because back in the day, the day of the last exam = total and indefinite freedom from education for the next few months. For me this year, it's more like, freedom to catch up with sleep before I start my long ass project.

I've given myself a generous 2 weeks of doing absolutely nothing, told myself not to even take any overtime at work and just spend it sleeping till whatever-o'clock and not feeling bad about sleeping too much, going out too much or even eating too much. But now those 2 weeks are coming to an end, it's 31st May meaning it's the last day of freedom before my mind needs to be set to work mode again. Accepted overtime at work next week to hype myself into that motivational mood to work mentally and physically. I plan to start this damn project straight off so I don't lag behind and I get the full 3 months to do it in. Creating new objectives and a research question to re-do my failed research proposal is first on my list - going to be a long and stressful process but you gotta start somewhere right?

Haven't blogged in well over a week because nothing interesting was going on in my life besides sleeping, seeing the boyf, eating snacks, playing league and catching up on missed TV. Was a really nice lazy 2 weeks apart from my mum moaning about me living my life like a slob. So be prepared for a lot of project ranting to come. Also work ranting too as I plan to do overtime over the summer to earn some more moolah.

Update

Been a long time since I last posted, mainly because of exams and other shit I've been experiencing along the way.

At the moment, I am one exam down and one to go, very close to absolute freedom of never having to sit another exam again. Feels surreal. First exam went very well (I hope), had to choose 3 out of 6 questions and actually, I predicted 4/6 of them which was amazing. Was so worth sitting down looking at past exam papers and seeing what will and will not come up. The last question threw me off, I actually had a choice between 3 by the end because I knew the topics, it was just the question of did I have enough content to write to cover a whole essay? Now when I think back to things, I really should've done the question on typologies as my last question but instead chose change agent because there was more to critique/compare/contrast. Maybe I just didn't feel like doing typologies because well, I think they're kinda dumb. Hopefully I've achieved enough to pass at least, that was the worst module ever in the duration of my masters degree.

Onto more serious matters, I've been having serious issues with my vision in the left eye. At first I kinda brushed it off as being superficial because those were the words my optician used, but then as you probably know because I've ranted about this before - I got sent to A&E because of it. Problem still hasn't cleared despite it having been a month already. So I went back the other day for a check up and seems like although things have been getting better, the progress is slow and my optician wasn't really happy with the drops the doctor prescribed me (she described them as weak drops that are given to children and babies... wonderful), so she sent me to buy these hella expensive drops (£14 for a tiny 10ml bottle) because they're apparently stronger. And so at the moment, I'm using those. Things don't feel like they're improving massively, like, sometimes I get pain the in eye because of dryness and at times I don't. Right now my eye feels alright but who knows, it might get worse later on. I guess I'm just trying to be optimistic about it even though I'm mega pissed off about the opticians wasting my money on weak drops, sending me to A&E when it really wasn't necessary and me ending up with over-the-counter drops that need no prescription therefore rendering my trip and day at the A&E worthless. I really don't want the see that optician that sent me to A&E again because she really doesn't have a clue at her job it seems.

The weather has been looking lovely for the week, it's a shame I have work tomorrow but at least I'm off on the Sunday when the sun comes out and it's 22 degrees. I have to revise though since my last exam is on Monday. LAST EVER EXAM GUYS. So excited. Not as excited to be graduating though since I graduate in October... Still got that project to get started on too... Sigh.

It's that time of the year again.

When I have to buckle down for a few weeks to revise for final exams. Can't believe that when I think about it, these 2 exams will be the last exams EVER for the rest of my life. Rejoice.

Had the opportunity to experience a Thai massage today with the boyf. He's been having backpain at work so he chose to do a deep tissue massage whereas I chose the traditional Thai massage. Don't know what that meant as when I went in the room and the woman came in and then she said she'd give me a "Chinese" massage LOL. What's so Thai about a Chinese massage?? Was relaxing nonetheless but my back muscles are feeling so sore at the moment, the same feeling you get when you exercise and the next day you really feel it down to every last muscle. Apparently my spine is bent because I keep sitting on one ass cheek - how does one even sit on one ass cheek I have no idea. She massaged my bum as well which was weird haha, anyway, the point is that she really pummelled my back into shape and now it hurts to stretch. First Thai massage experience - check. Dunno if I would want to go back though as it was pretty pricey for 30 minutes.

I have actually developed an addiction for Dairy Milk Giant Buttons. Bought them when they were £1 each bag at Tesco and they're STILL £1 per bag so I picked another one up today. Will be so good for revision. I tend to snack a lot when I revise but I don't seem to gain weight as I probably do the unhealthy substitution of snacks for decent meals. Sigh. I weighed myself this morning despite my recent over-snacking on crisps, chocolate and ice cream and I still weigh the same as before - by before I mean my normal 54kg, my lowest has been 52kg but I really didn't like that. I could see my damn ribcage. Yay for snacking and no weight gain I guess??? My boyfriend was disappointed to see I hadn't really gained weight - he was really expecting me to be fattened up since I kept telling him everytime I was snacking on chocolate and ice cream. I hate it when he teases me :( he's so mean.

My eye has been healing veeeery slowly. I actually have a HUGE rant to make right now about what happened on Tuesday. This optician I had decided that the healing process was too slow so she sent me all the way to Western Eye Hospital in Marylebone during the tube strike (took me 2 hours to get there by bus) to see a doctor. I should've known but there was a 2 hour wait to see a NURSE and then after I saw the nurse there was a 3 hour wait to see the doctor. Facepalm. I guess you can imagine how long I was in A&E for - 6 hours, yes, 6 hours I sat in that bloody waiting room whilst people were getting seen before me because that place sees people according to severity rather than what time you arrived. Never again. I came back to rant to my parents about how retarded that whole day was and I was even sitting there thinking why was I here? The optician I saw first said that it would take about a month to heal - this different retarded optician I had the next day decided that there wasn't enough improvement in the space of 3 days so she sends me to A&E and wasted 6 hours of my life. She even called me the next day to ask about it and then I ask her when do I come back for a check up and you know what she says? "Go back to the hospital for a check up" in my head I was like "is this woman MAD?" so I told her there was no way I was going back there as I had to wait 4 hours to be seen by a doctor. She tried to get me to go back to them for a check up on Friday (today) but I just straight up said to her look, there probably won't be any improvement until a week later so why are you asking me to see you 3 days later AGAIN? So she can send me to the hospital because the healing is slow??? I swear, this woman really has no idea what she's doing. Managed to persuade her to see me a week later so I have an appointment booked for next Tuesday instead. Crazy woman. I understand she wants me to be alert about this problem and she wants to "closely monitor" it but does she even know how crazy long the wait times are at A&E? Does she even know how far away the damn hospital is? Oh and you know what she suggested to me when I told her the tube strike was on on Tuesday? "Take a taxi" my god, she really thinks I'm Jesus that can perform miracles and create money to take a taxi into central London out of thin air. Or she thinks I'm filthy rich - but then again, if I was, I wouldn't be living in Hounslow. I wouldn't be having her as my optician either.

Rant ended. Basically, there's no way she's making me go back to that hospital unless my eye is actually going blind or falling out or she offers to pay for my damn taxi. There's another tube strike next Tuesday as well so good luck to her if she thinks she can send me to Western Eye Hospital again.

As you can see, I've had an eventful week. I actually came back home that day around midnight and REVISED. Yes, I had revision planned for that whole day but because she sent me on some pointless trip that was the most non-urgent emergency ever, I had to revise till about 4am before I could sleep.

Ok, now my rant has ended. Have a wonderful weekend guys!

Wassup wassup.

When I say to myself - "no more chocolate" I mean no more chocolate. It's been too often that I've eaten chocolate especially at this time of night. It's like, I see something interesting on TV to watch *whips out the chocolate*, I put on a movie *whips out the chocolate* This must stop. So today, I'm determined to not cave into my desires and instead, have moved my chocolate stash downstairs into the fridge. Far away, basically.

Started another K-drama out of desperation because I'm running out of things to watch. I've actually grown into this habit where I need to watch something to enjoy my meal/food/snack LOL. Started Emergency Couple and it's alright, not too sure if I like the whole hospital melodrama though. After watching the first couple of episodes I came to the conclusion that this ER unit must be the most unluckiest unit with the most unluckiest interns in the whole history of hospitals. A crazy man wanting to kill himself because he got dumped by his girlfriend grabs a gun and almost shoots everyone in the unit, these 2 interns get trapped in a lift with a cancer patient who starts vomiting blood - I mean, do any of these events even happen at hospitals? The likelihood of a crazed gunman and a lift breaking down just when this cancer patient is in need of help is almost higher than in real life in this drama. But let's keep in mind, this is a drama after all. Oh and can I mention, the main female actress in this is gorgeous. I won't start ripping it apart like Rooftop Prince... yet. Actually, I've made my mum start watching Rooftop Prince - there was nothing else I could recommend her was there? I mean, even my boyfriend's mum got hooked on Rooftop Prince so it must be good. She's taken a liking to Lee Min Ho after watching City Hunter LOL saying he's so tall, leng jai and handsome but I couldn't exactly recommend her to watch Heirs could I? It's not targeted for her age group... even I would feel a bit wrong if I saw my mum watching school romance k-dramas. Can you imagine my mum swooning over Lee Min Ho in a uniform? No, let's not go there. 

Went to the opticians yesterday because I finally felt like I needed to see an optometrist about my dodgy left eye. I really feel like I'm directionally challenged or dyslexic because I kept telling the optometrist that my "right" eye is blurry, my "right" eye is bloodshot, my "right" eye is sensitive to light - but when she had and look using those bright light tools optometrists use she started mentioning my left eye has problems. Then in my head and using what I usually use to determine left and right, I had actually meant my left eye all along... Sigh. Embarrassinggggggg. Anyway, she sent me home and to buy 2 brands of eyedrops to use to help my eye heal. Went hunting for them just before pharmacies closed and managed to get both, phew. Had to come back the next day as well for a full eye examination. 

So I went back today and saw a different optometrist - I had the bitch woman from last time yesterday and a really nice woman this time. There was a guy that did my eye health check up who started talking to me about my degree and stuff and it was really awkward for me because I had my glasses off and I couldn't even see his face, it was like one big blur so I was sitting there talking to this blurry faced man. Can't even remember his face at this moment... Or did I even see his face at all with glasses on? Anyway long story short, the optometrist said I had something called "staining" in my left eye which was the cause of the blurryness, sensitivity and everything that has been bugging me about my eye. She showed me some pictures and said mine was the most extreme, there are like, so many scratches on the surface of my eye which is why I have trouble seeing. It was scary when she said mine was the most severe =/ but at the end she said it was superficial and should heal in a few weeks which was a relief. I don't even know how this happened but I don't ever remember injuring my eye in anyway to get it so scratched up. Apparently all I need to do is to use the eyedrops "religiously" as the optometrist from yesterday said and the eye should heal! Sounds like an easy peasy job to me. 

My dad has been really worried bless him, I'm not even worried but it's because I'm always getting referred to eye clinics and stuff whenever I get an eye exam every year so he gets worried whenever something happens to my eye. It's a main reason I don't like telling him details but because he gave me a lift and waited for me and paid for parking, I thought he should know - something to talk about in the car on the way home. Really don't like him being worried though, it's nothing major anyway. But now I have to go back for another appointment on Tuesday and Thursday next week which is slightly annoying as I planned to crack down on revision for the whole week and not go out. So I'm working Sunday, revision class on Monday, opticians on Tuesday, nothing on Wednesday and opticians again on Thursday - annnnd suddenly my supposed week of revision has turned a whole lot busier than it should be. Apparently they just want to "monitor things" and make sure that my eye is on its way to healing. Better to be safe than sorry I guess. 

Also about these eyedrops so far, the 5x a day one doesn't feel like it's doing much right now but that's because this is probably my first whole day of using it 5x a day. The 2nd eyedrop is so gross, it's some thick oil like thing that you have to squeeze into your eye pouch and blink like 100 times till your vision goes clear. Because it's not viscous liquid, it causes blurring that lasts for around 10 minutes. Some weird eye lube. Made my eye feel all clammy and gross this morning even though it's supposed to protect it and prevent it from feeling dry in the morning. 

Had a very eventful 2 days, even bought myself chocolate yesterday to cheer myself up - it's not fun being blind in one eye x___o hopefully it improves quickly so I can get back to seeing properly with glasses on. I've been banned from contacts for a week so that sucks. Gonna have to go to work with glasses on this Sunday for the first time ever! I really pray it's going to be a quiet Sunday as I really can't be pushing my glasses up my non-existant nosebridge for the whole day if it's busy and I'm sweating and my glasses are falling down my face.   

Lazy but somewhat productive day.

After being out for the weekend, I had a nice day in today, slept in an hour later than my alarm before finally getting my lazy ass out of bed. Was planning to make some spaghetti for lunch but after yesterday's creamy pasta, I wasn't feeling for spaghetti anymore so I settled for some instant ramen. 

The productive part was me getting my notes together for MCC as I will be starting revision for my final set of exams (hopefully) ever! Will be so glad to finally be done with education - mainly coursework and exams. Had a really long chat with my friend on the phone soon after I did my "work" and then pretty much had dinner and lazed around for the rest of the night. 

Been having this weird problem with my right eye as well. I'm pretty sure it's just been overstrained and eyes usually take a while to heal as you use them everyday so they don't really get much chance to rest them apart from sleeping. My right eye has been mega blurry throughout the day and feels dry. When I use eye drops and rest them for a while they tend to be a tiny bit better but then it goes back to being blurry quite quickly soon after. Was thinking about heading to the opticians to make sure nothing serious is wrong with my eye but it did start to get better so I think I'll just wait it out for a few weeks, it's not in pain or anything, just weirdly blurry sometimes. People online tend to say these symptoms are associated with dry eyes/overstrained eyes anyway. 

Meeting some friends tomorrow for lunch as I haven't seen them in a while, hoping for some good food with good company and maybe some good weather too!

Exhausted AF.

Had a really nice but long and drawn out weekend. It was bank holiday Easter so a lot of people had 4 day weekends, started off with a relaxing Friday doing nothing, spent Saturday working and surprisingly, it was a really quiet Saturday for H&M despite the Easter holiday. So we ended work 30 minutes early (and 30 minutes less pay because H&M doesn't let us choose between unpaid or holiday deductions now) which was nice as I was already knackered and bored out of my head for the final 3 hours of work since there were no customers. Just hated the whole speed-cash up to make sure everyone was able to leave at 10pm. 

Slept in on Sunday then made my way to the boyf's house and spent Sunday afternoon having pizza with him and his sister and watching BGT rerun. Watched Megamind with the boyf - can't believe he hadn't seen Megamind, it's such an awesome movie, me and a friend back in uni used to quote silly lines from it when we watched it. Such nerds right? Ate some lamb curry his mum made, I wasn't actually going to have any because it was spicy but just to be respectful to his mum I tried some and actually it was really good! The boyfriend always makes his mum out to be a bad cook because she rarely cooks as she works a lot but the curry was actually really good, even had seconds even though my tastebuds were on fire LOL. My boyfriend downloaded some Walking Dead game on my iPad and it's the most derp game ever, you make choices from lots of scenarios and your choices determine the course of events that happen in the game. Watched my boyfriend play (because I'm scared of zombies...) and he game over'd within the first 5 minutes because he couldn't pick up the shotgun in time LOOL, was so funny. Eventually got the hang of it and he lied to this guy in the game twice and this message that says "Hershel will remember that" comes up and it just makes you feel so guilty that you got caught lying haha. Was so funny watching my boyfriend play and see him making all these bad decisions on what to say or what to do, he played it when we were on the bus today as well and he chose to save some man over a child!! I was like "SIMON!!!! >:(" couldn't believe it. 

Was bank holiday Monday today and we had a double date with our friend and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend's sister works at the zoo so we got free tickets to London Zoo! Was a really tiring but fun day as you could imagine, spent 4 hours walking around the zoo and we actually managed to see everything despite missing a lot of the talks as they happened around 12pm. Went to look for a place to have dinner and ended up at Zizzi's as a lot of small family run Italian places were closed for bank holiday. I've never had Zizzi's before so at least it was a new experience. Had penne pasta bake with roast chicken, spinach in mushroom sauce and it was ohhh sooo good, was really heavy because of the sauce but it was really good. Went wetherspoons after dinner to have a few drinks as my boyfriend didn't have to rush off to work at 11pm for once, was really nice spending time drinking, talking and laughing with these two. Double dates are rare but when they happen, it's great fun. 

Got home around 12am and now it's almost 2am and I'm ready to have a long night's sleep. 

Fujifilm Instax Mini 8 Review

Invested in one of these babies during my one week trip in HK back in February. The Fujifilm Instax Mini 8 is the latest of the mini series and as you can probably tell by the name, it's an instant camera! I've always wanted a polaroid camera but was always put off by the price of the film needed for it (1 pack only has 10 shots!), the camera itself is relatively inexpensive - around £55-£60 but the film can be quite pricey, especially in this country. Managed to pick up 2 packs of film in HK for a fraction of the price but of course, purchasing from ebay from overseas is going to be cheaper than buying from independent retailers in the UK but at the same time pricier than buying in HK.

In terms of the overall structure and feel of the camera, it's a really ergonomically friendly camera. Easy to hold, the camera is shaped perfectly for any size hand, it has a really smooth and matte feel to the body and is actually relatively light weight despite its looks. It doesn't feel awkward to hold when taking a selfie either, you can keep a really firm grip on it and the button is very conveniently placed for whether you're taking a picture of objects or a selfie from the front. 

This camera boasts the ability to automatically determine the best brightness level to take a picture by turning the lens to the corresponding lamp built into the camera:

I quite like the idea of this because usually, I associate polaroids as being quite vintage in nature, so features like auto-brightness detection is quite hard to come across. The only drawback is that you have to turn it yourself and hold it in place, if you let go, the lens kinda swings back into the home position... So this means it would be really fiddly for anyone to take a selfie using this feature. 

I bought this camera mainly to take selfies with friends so the ease of this camera for that purpose is quite important to me. Seeing all these extra accessories around in HK that you can buy for the camera, I stumbled across this selfie mirror as the Instax Mini 8 doesn't come with a built in selfie mirror like the Instax Mini 25 does. 

I actually find this mirror quite misleading, if I follow it and take pictures with someone at arm level, the image ends up positioning us too low down so there's a lot of space above us. So to use it properly, I tend to have to position my arm a bit higher than nose level and a bit angled down (selfie experiences using a digi cam) to take a relatively okay selfie. I guess using this takes a bit of practice but the nice thing about this lens is that it shoots close up, so images don't end up being blurry compared to if you were to take a close up shot at mid range without a close up lens. I guess a better way to use this lens when you're taking selfies with friends would be to look at your reflection in the close up lens rather than the mirror. The mirror seems to work fine when taking a lone selfie though, it's accurate enough to do that. 

So overall, the Instax Mini 8 is a decent polaroid camera that is in a decent price range and is pretty much a perfect first polaroid camera for anyone looking or thinking to purchase one. A main drawback is that there's no selfie mirror so people that are inexperienced in taking selfies can find this annoying, especially when you only have 10 shots in 1 pack of film. Though, you can fix this by buying the attachment that is sold separately - although again, this takes some practice to get used to. Another drawback is the hi-key mode (auto brightness detection), the fiddly lens setting that you have to hold in place cannot really be used with selfies unless you have spider leg-like fingers. So far, I'm really having fun with this camera, taking it out on special occasions and starting a polaroid collage on the side of my desk. I just wish the film wasn't so expensive to buy or I really would use this camera more often. 

Compared to the Instax Mini 25, I actually think the 25 is better than the 8 just because it has an in-built selfie camera, close up lens and light intensity control settings and also, I prefer the overall look of the 25 as well. Of course, having all these, the 25 is more expensive than the 8 but a lot of people say that the price difference is not sufficient for many to choose the 25 over the 8. But on the bright side, the batteries required for the Mini 25 (CR2 battery) is harder to find than for the Mini 8 (2 x AA batteries). Both are great polaroids and the features that the 8 lack can be substituted by buying the separate lens/selfie mirror and using the hi-key mode!

Nails Inc haul & Spring Cleaning!

Woke up today to a delivery of 5 new nail polishes from Nails Inc! They always wrap up the polishes so nicely, it feels like uwrapping a Christmas present for each one. Added 5 new polishes to my growing collection and now my collection looks like this:

I absolutely love this brand of nail polish, the brush applies the polish so perfectly and accurately. It's one of the very few brands I know that makes polish that doesn't thicken over time. There's nothing more annoying than your favourite polish going gooey after a few months even though you've stored them properly. I've heard that you can store them in the fridge to help them last longer but I'm not the type of person to fill my fridge up with nail polish rather than food. At £11 per pot it's quite pricey but at least the quality for the money you pay for is worth it. 

I should have sorted  them properly in the picture to show you guys which ones I added to my collection today but it's pretty much the first 5 from the left excluding the first black one. They are Queen Victoria Street, Devonshire Row, Kensington Park Road, Belgrave Place and Bruton Street. I think nail polish is my new addiction. 

Because of the sudden haul of nail polish, my small nail polish bag couldn't hold all of these in so as I went shopping today in the late afternoon/evening, I picked up an interesting acrylic storage drawer set from Muji. Had a few discussions with the boyfriend about how I should store my polish in it so it kinda went from this:

To this...

Boyfriend didn't like the idea of my polish being stored lying down and I agreed with him because the polish lids can get glued on by the polish and storing them upright is always the best way. Plus, it was pretty much a waste of a lot of space - had to use BOTH drawers to fit all my polish if I stored it like the first method but with the second method, I could even fit more in the future. Even had available space to fit cotton balls using the second method - I know it's a waste of usage space but just for the purposes of the box being a nail polish box, I thought stuffing my cotton balls in there would be cool. I just love the lift up lid on this box, it's so convenient (you can see my reject polishes to the right...) 

My night went from organising nail polish to actually spring cleaning half my room, my shelves looked so messy when I placed my beautiful nail box on it so I decided just to tidy the whole damn thing. This is what it looked like before cleaning:

Ermagad. So messy... boxes upon boxes everywhere, creams/sprays everywhere, was crazy messy. I had empty boxes because I'm a secret hoarder. I actually have no idea why I kept some - like my Links of London charm boxes, I must've thought they were cute or something because I kept them all piled up in the corner collecting dust. Sorted through the bunch of bottles on the left and found about 4 different deodorants, 3 body moisturisers, really ancient hair mousse, 3 different bottles of straightening spray/cream... I honestly have no idea why there were so many bottles of things I never use but just sit there wasting space. Threw away a lot of them as well as some boxes. I actually got creative with an empty box I found where my friend bought a mug for my 21st birthday and I've only just recently started using it LOL (I'm 22 now, sob sob). I cut off the flaps and made it into a little container box for my wires and chargers I had stashed up on my shelf - that's as creative as I can get really. I sorted through a tonne of rusty jewellery I had as well, didn't actually throw any away (hoarder instinct) so I just shoved them all in an old pencilcase and threw it in my hoarder cupboard. 

So my shelf after tidying looks like this:

Much tidier, I managed to even get my grand piano jewellery box across from my other shelf as well which is a result. That jewellery box is the most awkward box to fit anywhere because if you angle it into a corner, it wastes a LOT of space around the sides. The nail box actually looks like it belongs there now compared to the other picture where you could barely even notice it amongst all the mess! Ended up arranging my shelf into 3 sections - from left to right: haircare, cosmetics and jewellery. 

If you're wondering where did all the clutter go, the answer is here: in my hoarder cupboard LOL.

This is a cupboard full of might-be-useful-in-the-future items including: phone boxes, spare mugs, old netbook, pads of paper, hoard of re-useable bags, an old UGG box full of rubbish that I can't part with. Sigh, if only I had time and motivation to actually sort through this mess properly but just looking at it takes away my patience. 

K-Drama Ramble: Rooftop Prince

WARNING: Possible verbal diarrhoea in this blog post coupled with some heavy heavy spoilers. Please don't read on if you plan to and have yet to watch Rooftop Prince. Also, if you have no idea what K-drama is, please stop reading here or else this blog post will be wasting about 3 minutes of your life. 

You have been warned. 

It's been about a good couple of months since I touched Rooftop Prince, I left it at episode 5 before I swanned off to watch some other things and was off K-drama for a good while and I came back to it last week and finally finished it, woohoo. Go me. Anyway, this blog post is probably going to be more of a rant rather than cooing over how cute Chi San's love for omurice is.

Sigh. Where do I begin? I really enjoyed this drama until the very end, yes, the very very end, the last episode, the final moments, the ending that is supposed to make you teary and your heart warm and fuzzy like many K-dramas do. The ending was so cheesy and at so many moments I wanted to be like *vom*, I actually hated how they had to spend 80% of the last episode wrapping things up in Joseon world. Like, nobody gives a fuck about that part of the story no more (well, maybe some of you do) - how could they end episode 19 with the prince leaving and not show what's happened to Bak Ha until an hour later into the final episode? 

The Joseon part of the episode was so poorly done as well (IMO), it's like the script writers suddenly realised during episode 19 "oh shit, we haven't wrapped up what happened in Joseon and the crown princess mystery, let's cram it all into 50 minutes". The "mystery" was so predictable - oh poison powder, of course Bu Yong is going to poison herself instead and jump into the pond pretending to be her sister. If you put two and two together from the "future" it's really obvious what happens. The so-called running mystery of the drama no longer becomes a running mystery once you know enough about the characters. 

I don't really remember much of the first five episodes since I watched them so long ago but I literally laughed out loud when I saw who the evil mastermind behind the poison plan was - oh duh, it just had to be the Joseon version of Tae Mu. I couldn't stop laughing at his crappy tache and beard more than anything though. 

Oh em eff gee. From savvy looking businessman to weird looking ahjussi.

The worst part for me was the fight scene between the weird looking ahjussi up there and the prince. Here's a quote I plucked from another blog that pretty much sums up what my impression of this "final fight scene" encompassed.

"There is an epic battle of lameness, which seriously looked like five years olds pretending to be stunt men."

Anyway, the prince gets shot by our bearded friend and the prince is like "=O" and you guys at home are like "NO!" but surprise surprise, guess what saves him? YES, the necklace that Bak Ha gave him when they got fake married. How a flimsy necklace managed to repel a sharp arrow is completely beyond me, the necklace was the size of a 10p coin at most, he must've been one hella lucky son of a bitch for the arrow to hit the necklace or the bearded guy is just one hella unlucky son of a bitch to have hit the 0.02% of his body that isn't covered by something hard. Fate works in mysterious ways as you would have probably sussed out if you've been watching episodes of this drama continuously. Fate actually seems to defy logic in many periods through this drama but if I spoke about each one, this post would become some sort of series dissection. 

Now onto the actual ending scene that lasts about 10 minutes (maybe less), that shows our selfless heroine Bak Ha back in the present time. She goes to the palace and find this note that the prince wrote for her and buried underneath some dirt and 2 rocks. Somehow, the note has survived 300 years and she takes out this crusty yellow letter and begins reading and then when he mentions her juice bar that he built for her, she all depressed like, making juice and doesn't even notice when the real Tae Yong waltzes in and orders some apple juice, and when you guys at home were watching this, holding your breaths, bracing yourself for her shocked expression at meeting the man she loved, the man that disappeared and went back to Joseon on their marriage day - not even once did she look at his face. Surely if she was so in love with this guy, she would've recognised his voice at least right? Baffled. 

I digress. The final episode ends when Bak Ha finds a postcard on her shop door of another portrait of her drawn by the real Tae Yong and he asks to meet up with her again (I was secretly hoping he would get abducted and pushed off a cliff so the prince can come back LOL), so of course she meets up with him and the episodes ends with some cheesy shit like "even after 300 years have passed, I will still love you" and she holds hands with the real Tae Yong. The end. I was just wtf-ing because this Tae Yong is not the same as the prince - not the same memories, experiences whatever, I mean this dude here has spent over 3/4 of the series in a coma, bedridden, maybe he liked her from first sight in New York and they were destined or fated to fall in love anyway before the prince came along. To assume that they're the same person and for Bak Ha to look like she openly accepts this guy as the guy she fell in love with is completely nonsensical to me. 

Just so I don't end this seeming like a complete hater of Rooftop Prince, I actually loved the part where those 3 idiots were making omurice in Joseon and everyone was queueing up for it and Chi San listening to music on his iPod in Joseon was too funny. Hands down Chi San was the character that made this drama especially enjoyable (minus the last episode). 

Got my mum started on Queen In Hyun's man today and she goes to me "why is the main male so ugly?? I want to see dramas with hot guys in them!" Oh Mum...

Blog Break.

Taking a break from doing coursework. This coursework is actually going so slow, only because it's 3000 words and because it's my last coursework. EVER. IN. MY. WHOLE. LIFE. Well, except the final project I guess, but I don't want to think about that yet. Ugh. Can't wait to be over and done with studying, it's dragged on way too long. I've loved this year though, I feel like I've become more confident in myself and that I WILL be able to get a job after I graduate. When I graduated from my BSc I wasn't confident in doing interviews, speaking to people I don't know, presenting myself like I should be doing etc. But after work experience, volunteering for a year, getting a real part time job, meeting new people in a new uni, meeting new people in a new work environment, I've become a lot more extroverted. 

Anyway, I've been doing my coursework for around 4 hours now and I've managed to do around 700 words. I actually want to get as much of it done as possible today, hopefully around 1500 words will be done by today so I have like 7 days to do another 1500 words which is plenty LOL. It's nice to go to sleep knowing that I've done most of my coursework but then again, I'd just be waking up, wasting as much time as possible before doing my coursework. Sigh. Mum is already annoyed at me because I turned down overtime at work. I hate doing overtime for my workplace because once you say yes, they fucking abuse it and call you up again and again as if you're the designated overtime person. Also, I'm trying to say no to overtime so they might actually employ more people for my department. It's so damn understaffed it's not even funny the amount of work one person in my department is expected to do - tills, tidy, fill-up, hangers, cash up, float and if worse comes to worse, it's busy, someone smashes something by accident, you can't leave that shit there as homeware is next to kidswear and there's always kids running around homeware. So you pretty much have to hunt for a cleaner (there's only one and he can be found ANYWHERE), or you go admin office, grab a key for the cleaner's cupboard, go all the way back up to staff room and get a broom to clean it up yourself. So if you work in my department, you're not only sales associate, you're also part time cleaner. I'll stop ranting about work though since I'm working this Saturday till 10:30pm sigh, damn Easter opening times. Didn't even know my workplace has special opening times for Easter as well as Christmas and New Years.  

Going to continue grinding on with coursework, can't wait to reach my 1500 word target and finish for the day. I have actually never ever done more than 1000 words of my coursework in one setting (apart from that one time in first year I accidentally deleted my whole coursework and had to start it from scratch again on the night before deadline day). This is an achievement. 

Hayfever is striking.

Went to work today, had a runny nose, itchy eyes, forever sneezing. To make things worse, the amount of dust in Home is not good for hayfever. Coming home too, I regret buying my mum lilies for Mother's Day, I've literally bought a pollen bomb into the house.

Only managed to get 3 hours sleep last night so I'm literally sitting here typing this and my body is like "GO TO SLEEP" but my mind is like "NOOOOO". I hate my nocturnal ways. This is what happens when you go straight from sleeping at 5am one day to having to wake up at 8am another day. I could just about managed today apart from the fact that today's customers were a bunch with horrible attitude. Why couldn't people just stay home today huh?

Working in retail makes me hate some people. There was this Oriental couple that spoke perfect English and wouldn't leave the store when we were closing, it was like 6:05pm (even gave them an extra 5 minutes to fuck off) and they still wouldn't leave, this dude's girlfriend was still waltzing around the department as if we just opened or something. Just wanted to go up to her and tell her to get out. Seriously. Oh and when I told them that we were closing, her guy just looked at me as if I was speaking another language - pretending he doesn't speak English yeah.

~

Oops, forgot to publish that yesterday LOL. Anyway, may as well make this a running thing. Was going to talk about this news I read - James Arthur being sacked by Syco is too funny. This guy first offended the gay community and now he's threatening to "blow your family up like a terrorist". His lyrics are as awful as his personality. Seriously.

Had a really slow day today, didn't wake up late but still, a very slow day. My right eye is so blurry, not sure whether it's because I'm tired or because they're dry. Also, had a mental breakdown today when trying to staple my coursework together - yes, it sounds stupid and funny but I was so stressed out at that point having to print out pages and pages of appendices to submit that my appendices ended up totalling more pages than my coursework. Idk if that's a good thing or a bad thing and I did think about taking some stuff out but I found this really cool comprehensive sample report that it was just too tempting not to submit it as well =/. My shitty stapler obviously couldn't staple like 20+ sheets of paper together so I have no choice but to pop into uni tomorrow and hopefully the library can help me do something about it or hopefully they have a heavy duty stapler that can staple this beast of a coursework together for me. Sigh. I cried because I couldn't staple my coursework together LOOOL, started hating on my lecturer for not allowing online submission and shit too. Life. Boyfriend works in repographics as well but it'll be too late to ask him to bind it for me since I want to submit it tomorrow (don't want to have to pop in on deadline day at a ridiculous i.e. before 12 to submit it).

Going out with the boyfriend tomorrow, might be visiting his sister at work but we'll see. Need a day out, plus it's sunny tomorrow so it would be a waste to go to his place and stay inside playing LoL all day like nerds <3. I love nerdy time with the boyfriend but sometimes when it's sunny outside you just gotta take advantage of it. I'm so bored of LoL at the moment as well, URF got boring so quickly, ARAM is still fun but only with friends. I don't play on my own no more because it's just hella boring. Oh, and trolls.

Continuing with Rooftop Prince at the moment, got K-drama withdrawal after seeing my mum addicted to The Moon that Embraces the Sun. Sigh. I loved that drama, I wish there were more like it. There's nothing amazing out at the moment, it seems like the whole of Asia were caught up in this My Love from the Star storm as my mum was suddenly watching it on her iPad one day and I was like "hey... I've watched that!" now she's forever asking me for good dramas to watch and asking me for spoilers wtf. The other day she asked me "what happens at the end of TMES?" and I was like "wth I'm not telling you!" Gosh, this woman wants to know what happens in the last episode when she's only on episode 3 LOL. I just want her to really enjoy it as much as I did. Going to recommend Queen In Hyun's Man to her after this one.

So my nail polish came the other morning and I've only tried out the jade coloured one. I like it, I probably would've liked the turquoise one I was considering buying as well but I need time to get used to having brightly coloured nails so buying 2 of these bright ones would've been a bad idea. It was actually a bad idea for me to try them out on Saturday night as I forgot I had work the next day. Needless to say, they were completed wrecked by the time my shift ended. Sticky tape was my worst enemy that day. Flakes of polish came off as I got stuck to some strong tape - had to work fast so I had no time to be careful of my nails - so some customers went home with bits of my nail polish stuck to the tissue paper wrap of their breakables LOOL.

Painted them again last night but just with a standard red colour, I find red suits my nails the most when they're long. Anyway, these were the shades I bought from Nails Inc.

Black Taxi

Thought it was about time I bought a black nail polish again. I used to be addicted to black polish back when I was in my teens. I played the piano back then so I always had short nails and black was just the best. I usually have long nails now so this polish will probably come in handy when I freshly cut my nails and want some colour on them. 

Portobello

This one is so deceiving, it looked pink to me but when I read the description it says "neon orange", when I googled it, it looked really orange on some people that bought it but when I received it, it looks pinkish/orange to me. I actually really like it though, I was looking for a pink polish to begin with but stumbled across this one and thought... Summer! Too bad the pinks that they have weren't really up to my taste, some of them were nice but looked waaaay too pasty when the model wore it or way too light and thin and some others, just too bright. 

Seven Dials

I love the creamyness of this polish, it's not too bright so it matches my skin colour. I always think bright colours clash with my oriental skin tone but this one is perfect. I was a bit conscious of it when I tried it on as I've never worn a colour like this before but surprisingly it looks good. I think I would've liked the brighter shade more though but this one is alright. 

As you can see, I'm shopping too much when I have no money. Natwest are too awesome with their graduate overdraft LOL. I've technically graduated but still dipping into my overdraft some months... Sigh. Student problems -> graduate problems. 

Lazy weather.

Lazy weather makes me lazy.

Woke up at a time I don't even want to mention today. This week I've been such a bear, sleeping all the time - when I sleep I don't even need food. I had one meal today which constituted as my breakfast, lunch and dinner. I mean, I ate it at 6pm - what could I possibly eat later?

Right now I'm grinding through my assignment and I actually finished it LOL. I didn't plan to get it done so quickly, planned to get it done by Monday but at least it gives me more time to laze around before doing my next assignment. Barely played League today because I'm soooo bored of it, I don't know how people can get so addicted to this game for years. I'm so bored of the new mode mainly because I don't even have many champs to play on it and I don't want to buy any because this mode is only available until Monday.

Working this Sunday, I hate coming back after a holiday because it feels kinda strange, it starts off as a really slow day because I need to get used to 2 weeks of not being here so I need to walk around and learn where the new stuff is or where old stuff has moved to. It's nice to come back to a Sunday though because the day goes really fast and I learn really quickly because the first part of the day is really slow, then I get to have lunch and come back to power through the rest of the day. Working Saturday next week though so that sucks =______= Saturdays piss me off because people have no compassion for how nicely I folded the towels/sofa throws so it always looks terrible because I give up tidying it.

Had a day of shitty luck yesterday, Aunt flo came while I was out and I was caught off this month so I had to go Tesco and surprise surprise they had none of what I was looking for so I had to go for the expensive alternative. Sigh. I love how only some people will understand what I just said there because it's so unambiguously ambiguous. Anyway, proceeding with my shitty day, my battery literally blew up in my phone - not exploded - but blew up as in swelled up due to some kinda fault. I have a feeling it could be due to this portable charger I bought from HK, I mean my aunt uses it and has no problem but when I use it, my phone gets really hot. I don't think I should use it that much anymore. I'm scared to even charge my phone or use it now in case the same thing happens. I don't want my battery blowing up in my pocket one day. So my boyfriend being the lovely guy he is, bought me a replacement battery yesterday or else I would be phoneless... Sigh.

I splurged on some nail polish from Nails Inc. a few days ago. I love their nail polish, although it's pricey (£11 for a 10ml pot), it's definitely worth it. I have 3 shades currently and they last so long, glides on like silk, long lasting, just messy to take off. So I bought 3 more colours for the summer, can't wait to try them out.

Can't wait to get paid next week, already a broke ass bitch because of Mother's Day, paying my phone bill and spending on travel because it's just not worth paying £120 for a travelcard since uni is finished.

Night Night.

Chilling in bed watching Night Cops, this boy got arrested for drink driving, he completely smashed his car up into a wall and got arrested and he's crying. He's actually crying. He's whimpering because he just passed his test a week ago, just bought his car the day before and now it's all smashed up. No sympathy for this guy. Shouldn't be driving when you're not fit to drive. This guy was saying he bought this car with a broken handbrake, no rear lights and worn out tyres - why? I don't understand some people, why drive a car that's like that let alone drive a car when you're intoxicated? 

I actually find it quite funny that he only passed his test a week ago and now he's getting banned for driving lolol. Might even have to re-take his test. Shame.

I've been such a lazy cow recently that my Mum has caught on. Did nothing this weekend apart from play League, eat, watch TV, eat some more, play some more. Should be doing my coursework but it's too easy for me to actually spend any time doing it. Started one a while ago and already done 200 words. No effort. Should have it done by Sunday if I start it Wednesday. It's only due next Wednesday. 

Mum was asking me why I wasn't doing any revision and just playing all day. FFS. I hate it when Mum questions me about my life, she's pretty much accepted my independence but sometimes when it comes to study or work she worries too much. She never lets me have more than one day to relax and do what I want. I mean she expects me to be looking for a full time job by the time lectures finish - wtf, exams haven't even started yet, woman. I just get really angst-y and touchy when she gets annoyed at me for playing/lazing around too much, I need time to play as well as work, jeez. So much pressure from my Mum sometimes, I hate it *teenage ranting*

My body fucking aches at the moment because I've started working out again - this is coming from someone who hasn't worked out properly in 1 year LOL. Stopped working out as soon as I got together with the boyfriend (naturally), I feel like for a lot of girls, once you find someone you really love, you learn to accept yourself for who you are. Not meaning to sound soppy, but I'm beginning to love myself for who I am, it's slow but it's gradual - my boyfriend always reminds me of my beauty (vom). But I'm determined to keep fit for the summer, no aims for six pac abs but hey, we'll see what happens. Hating it at the moment because my body feels so weak and limp. Did press ups the other day and my elbow hurt for the rest of the weekend, tried to do press ups today and my arms felt like beansprouts. FML. 

Weight wise, I'm trying to get down to 8 st. Currently, I'm 8 st 3. How hard can it be to lose 3 lbs eh? I've come a long long way from 2 years back when I was my heaviest at 10 st 5. Maybe the pressures of final year uni and masters has made my weight go bye bye. Who knows. Weight loss isn't always great though, I've lost a lot of fat in my boobs LOL. I'm not into this whole eat clean shit though, truth is, I cannot  eat clean - I need to have the yummy unhealthy foods in my life or else I'll just be a huge ball of depression feasting off vegetables for the rest of my life. Tbh, you need carbs in your diet to burn fat anyway. It's just all about portion control and moderating the unhealthy shit against the more healthier shit in life for me. 

Anyway, just thought I'd do one of these Q&A's since I'm bored as hell and trying to get sleepy. 

1. Are you a very open or private person? 

Private. Well, I would say private but according to psychometric testing, I'm an extrovert so...

2. What is your favourite Christmas movie? 

Not into Christmas movies much but Love Actually was pretty good, oh, and Bridget Jones Diary.

3. When did you stop believing in Santa? 

Since he failed to come down my chimney when I was like, 8. Waited for him at midnight with my Dad as well. Totally stood up.

4. What do you get complimented on the most? 

My eyes probably and hair (when it was long... sob sob).

5. How are you feeling right now? 

Aching, all over.

6. If money was no object, where would you move to? 

I would move into central. A year ago, I might've said I'd move to a different country but I've actually become pretty attached to my home city.

7. Who was the last person to make you cry? 

Boyfriend. He always makes me cry T___T /truth

8. Did you make any resolutions for this year? What were they? 

I actually didn't but I'll make some now...

• Work out until summer
• Revise hard for the exams
• Begin job hunting after exams & accept that I have to go out into the big wide world of work one day
• Quit League 
• Save money
• Stop spending on crap I don't need
• Do lots of overtime at work to save duh monies

9. Is there a song which can bring you to tears instantly? 

Nope. My heart is hard as nails.

10. Who was the last person you talked about sex with? 

Boyfriend.

11. How did you bring in the New Year? 

Karaoke with friends. I got sprayed with champagne though, wasn't nice as it went into my eyes.

12. Have you ever online dated? 

Yes.

13. Post a screen shot of your Twitter “Interactions” page. 

No.

14. Click on the messages tab on Facebook, post a screen shot (erase surnames for safety). 

Nein.

15. Post a screenshot of your tumblr activity page. 

Aiyah.

16. Do you believe in soul mates? 

I do actually. I'm the type of person that believes there's someone for everyone as well.

17. Do you play video games? 

Too many.

18. What age do people usually mistake you for? 

Idk how to answer this one, I mean a few years back people used to think I was really young, younger than my actual age. But now, I feel like I'm started to look like I'm 22, maybe corner shop guys still think I'm under 18 (since I still get asked for ID) but sometimes I slip the net.

19. What or whom do you miss right now? 

I miss the days where I used to sleep early and wake up early.

20. What perfume do you wear?

Depends on how I'm feeling. I usually wear Marc Jacobs Daisy now (because summer is coming), but for nights out, I usually wear Lacoste Pink as it's longer lasting and stronger. Used to be a huuuuge fan of Harajuku Lovers: Wicked but after 2 bottles of that stuff, I got sick of it.