My head is exploding from reading one paper. Trying to understand the content and highlight anything that could be relevant to include in my report. I'm trying to find a way to summarise the paper as simply as possible but I don't think I have enough patience for that. Spending too long on one paper makes me depressed.
This is actually the first time I'm printing out a bunch of papers and properly reading them LOL. Usually I'm more like, find the paper, read the abstract - done. It takes me about one hour to get through one paper and then after that, I need like a 5 hour break before I can even consider reading the next paper.
University is tough.
Tuesday 18 September 2012
Thursday 13 September 2012
I can't sleep - what's new?
No surprise here. I can't bloody sleep.
Throughout summer I've been suffering from this thing called insomnia. I haven't managed to establish a normal sleeping pattern for many years now, even back in secondary school where I had to wake up at 7am Mon-Fri. I think throughout the years, it has just gotten worse.
So you might ask why haven't I seen a doctor about it?
Well, my supposed insomnia is due to a number of factors that I could control but never do. For instance, I aim to drink at least 4 cups of green tea a day for health reasons. So on a day like this where I have gone out with friends and returned home rather late, I tend to stay awake till 3am drinking green tea. Now this is bad news as green tea does have caffeine so... You get the idea.
Sorry for my lack of posting - I haven't had any interesting topics to rant about recently.
Throughout summer I've been suffering from this thing called insomnia. I haven't managed to establish a normal sleeping pattern for many years now, even back in secondary school where I had to wake up at 7am Mon-Fri. I think throughout the years, it has just gotten worse.
So you might ask why haven't I seen a doctor about it?
Well, my supposed insomnia is due to a number of factors that I could control but never do. For instance, I aim to drink at least 4 cups of green tea a day for health reasons. So on a day like this where I have gone out with friends and returned home rather late, I tend to stay awake till 3am drinking green tea. Now this is bad news as green tea does have caffeine so... You get the idea.
Sorry for my lack of posting - I haven't had any interesting topics to rant about recently.
Saturday 8 September 2012
Do you believe in fate?
Fate is a controversial topic for me.
I've never been one to believe anything unless I see it, including religion. But religion is a bit different because I believe that faith is different to belief in some ways. Having faith in something i.e. a god doesn't necessarily mean that you believe god. Sounds odd but it makes sense to me in my little world. I could have faith that god will do right by me but it doesn't necessarily mean that I believe everything in that part of the religion. Some of you might read this and be like "huh? How can you have faith when you don't believe?" For me, I like to have faith in certain things but I don't have to believe that they exist. Call it putting your destiny in another's power if you will but that's how my version of beliefs/faith is coined.
A certain thing I have been starting to "believe" in is actually fate. You know the whole "meant to be" thing, like if something bad happens to me, I believe that it was meant to happen - whether it's for better things to come in the future or because I deserved it, it was bound to happen to me. Even if I had managed to avoid it, it will happen to me sooner or later. I do believe in karma - this is an aspect of Hindu, Buddhist and Sikh religions. The belief that your actions will determine cause and effect. Ever since being taught about different religions in high school, karma has been one thing that has made sense to me. I used to be suspicious of it being something introduced to keep people from doing bad things but the more I witness it, the more I start to actually believe. Then there's the actual concept of fate, you know what it means when people are "fated" to be together, things are "fated" to happen, people are "fated" to meet. As cheesy as this next part sounds, I really do believe that there's someone for everyone when it comes to love. I do believe in soulmates. Some people might criticise and say that I'm putting my love life in the hands of fate, to an extent I am, because I do believe that fate will lead you to the right person. But I don't think fate can do everything, paths may cross but it's up to you to do the actions that will lead to the consequences. It's an awesome thought to me because this entirely makes sense.
I used to be someone that falls in love too quickly, too easily. I rarely learnt from my mistakes before jumping into the next relationship. But then again there's nothing wrong with getting experience, I'm still inexperienced, I haven't found the right person yet. I never believed any one of those people were my soulmates (apart from boyfriend #1 because I was naive and stupid at 14). But I wouldn't say that I'm playing around either. I think the only way you can find your soulmate is if you DO date around and figure out exactly what it is that you want in a guy. Sometimes you just have to experience before you know exactly what you're looking for. I used to think the right guy will just appear at the right time but not anymore.
Another thing about looking for the right guy is: do not watch Asian dramas.
Me and a friend have sussed out that these things called Asian dramas whatever they may be - Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Taiwanese - they're all poison. Now before hardcore fans start defending them, I have been addicted to them, I still do get addicted really quickly whenever I come across a typical romance based one that many people seem to like. So I watch a ton of these and very quickly I realise that my perception of the perfect man has slowly been distorted into a tall, rich, handsome looking guy. Of course, you might be saying "who's idea of a perfect man isn't tall, rich and handsome?" but underlying this image of perfection is the typical Asian perfect man's rotten personality that is essentially degrading to the female counterpart. Along with Mr. Perfection's riches is a spoilt and snobby personality - of course, here I'm not saying that every rich man is an asshole. This rich man falls in love with a poor student or someone of that social status that leaves you wishing that your own rich man will come for you soon, but in the real world you should ask yourself how many rich men out there actually mingle with poor folk? There is always going to be a division in society based on how rich/poor someone is. Birds of a feather flock together as they always say - around a university campus you see rarely see rich international students mingling with others.
You just wouldn't see a rich student decked out in designer gear hanging around a poor student dressed in Primarni. Just sayin'.
I've never been one to believe anything unless I see it, including religion. But religion is a bit different because I believe that faith is different to belief in some ways. Having faith in something i.e. a god doesn't necessarily mean that you believe god. Sounds odd but it makes sense to me in my little world. I could have faith that god will do right by me but it doesn't necessarily mean that I believe everything in that part of the religion. Some of you might read this and be like "huh? How can you have faith when you don't believe?" For me, I like to have faith in certain things but I don't have to believe that they exist. Call it putting your destiny in another's power if you will but that's how my version of beliefs/faith is coined.
A certain thing I have been starting to "believe" in is actually fate. You know the whole "meant to be" thing, like if something bad happens to me, I believe that it was meant to happen - whether it's for better things to come in the future or because I deserved it, it was bound to happen to me. Even if I had managed to avoid it, it will happen to me sooner or later. I do believe in karma - this is an aspect of Hindu, Buddhist and Sikh religions. The belief that your actions will determine cause and effect. Ever since being taught about different religions in high school, karma has been one thing that has made sense to me. I used to be suspicious of it being something introduced to keep people from doing bad things but the more I witness it, the more I start to actually believe. Then there's the actual concept of fate, you know what it means when people are "fated" to be together, things are "fated" to happen, people are "fated" to meet. As cheesy as this next part sounds, I really do believe that there's someone for everyone when it comes to love. I do believe in soulmates. Some people might criticise and say that I'm putting my love life in the hands of fate, to an extent I am, because I do believe that fate will lead you to the right person. But I don't think fate can do everything, paths may cross but it's up to you to do the actions that will lead to the consequences. It's an awesome thought to me because this entirely makes sense.
I used to be someone that falls in love too quickly, too easily. I rarely learnt from my mistakes before jumping into the next relationship. But then again there's nothing wrong with getting experience, I'm still inexperienced, I haven't found the right person yet. I never believed any one of those people were my soulmates (apart from boyfriend #1 because I was naive and stupid at 14). But I wouldn't say that I'm playing around either. I think the only way you can find your soulmate is if you DO date around and figure out exactly what it is that you want in a guy. Sometimes you just have to experience before you know exactly what you're looking for. I used to think the right guy will just appear at the right time but not anymore.
Another thing about looking for the right guy is: do not watch Asian dramas.
Me and a friend have sussed out that these things called Asian dramas whatever they may be - Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Taiwanese - they're all poison. Now before hardcore fans start defending them, I have been addicted to them, I still do get addicted really quickly whenever I come across a typical romance based one that many people seem to like. So I watch a ton of these and very quickly I realise that my perception of the perfect man has slowly been distorted into a tall, rich, handsome looking guy. Of course, you might be saying "who's idea of a perfect man isn't tall, rich and handsome?" but underlying this image of perfection is the typical Asian perfect man's rotten personality that is essentially degrading to the female counterpart. Along with Mr. Perfection's riches is a spoilt and snobby personality - of course, here I'm not saying that every rich man is an asshole. This rich man falls in love with a poor student or someone of that social status that leaves you wishing that your own rich man will come for you soon, but in the real world you should ask yourself how many rich men out there actually mingle with poor folk? There is always going to be a division in society based on how rich/poor someone is. Birds of a feather flock together as they always say - around a university campus you see rarely see rich international students mingling with others.
You just wouldn't see a rich student decked out in designer gear hanging around a poor student dressed in Primarni. Just sayin'.
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