I actually intended on blogging 2 days ago but then mid-writing I felt like, what's the point in it? What am I even blogging about? Why am I just repeating the same jargon I wrote last time?
So I'll blog tonight since I'm in a blogging mood.
I'm feeling a little less stressed as I've actually got a plan together for my project. This is why I could never ever go into research because I don't feel independent enough or creative enough to come up with research questions and follow through with the research. It's heavily stressful because unlike 3rd year, I'm totally on my own, my own research, my own topic, my own everything. Just me and a supervisor really. It's totally different from when I basically had my research question handed to me on a plate and worked with 2 others on the same project, just the write up was independent. This is what it feels like to be completely not spoon fed as they call it. I've had so much trouble as I failed my proposal, it wasn't viable as a research question and I'm scared this one will fall through too, but I've tried my best to make it as robust as possible so we'll see. At least I have a supportive supervisor I guess. Time is running out as my resubmission deadline is 7th July. So as you can see, I've been very stressed over the past 2 weeks, trying to stop myself from endless procrastination, failing to fix my overly screwed up sleeping pattern (and failing to do so, it's now 3am and I'm still wide awake), having to live life with this dodgy eye...
On the subject of the dodgy eye, I'm finally getting seen by a GP next Monday about it. I find it odd that I'm being seen by a GP and not a specialist at a hospital though. Maybe this GP is a specialist... idk how these things work.
My skin has been breaking out like mad ever since I ran out of patches. I've been too lazy to get some more but I'll remember to next Monday since I'm going to the GP anyway. I've just been treating my skin a little better by drinking tons of water, did a clay mask yesterday when my skin felt bad and just going to keep my routine with masks and stuff until aunt flo comes. Sigh, the patch is so unsightly but I don't really have another option except the pill but I went a bit delusional and shit last time I was on the pill (you can read my entry on Microgynon 30 if you scroll back a bit). Felt myself going insane through that month.
Cannot wait to get started on this project and then holiday to Corfu in August. Really need a week away from London this year as I realised I may be employed after August and then that would mean no more holidays, lazing around and stuff. Reality is going to slap me in the face hard when I start looking for a job and hopefully working and earning a steady income.
I'm not mentally ready for this.
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