Herp derp. Another ramble/complaining/moaning-about-life post.
A contradictory statement for the title of this post to be honest, I'm not really breezing through this masters degree.
It's too long to explain what I mean by semi-failing but it does mean that I'm struggling. Not that it's completely my fault though, I'm sick and tired of these lecturers that expect 100% independence. It's not that they're not allowed to help, it's more like they're too lazy to offer you any constructive help. I'm not failing to the extent where I have to fork out £1000 to retake a module though (well, not to my knowledge at the moment anyway... I hope to have at least scraped the minimum pass mark for my exams if anything).
It's not easy but it shouldn't be this hard either.
My project is in shambles at the moment. I'm back to square one because I "failed" my research proposal. Not that I didn't know my idea was not viable anyway, I just wanted to submit an idea even though I hadn't had time to think about a project properly. I honestly don't know why they decide to cram Research Methods into semester one, as if sem 1 isn't busy enough with 4 modules running already they felt the need to be like "oh let's make them think of their project idea now that's due in a year's time". As a result, what I thought was an idea, has fallen apart completely. However, I have a project supervisor, I just hope she's willing to give me the advice and the guidance that I need to actually formulate an idea. Right now, I have no project idea, no project and a project supervisor. Lovely.
Under a lot of pressure at the moment because of workplace issues - my new department manager is hugely incompetent and just plain crap at managing. I've told him about 4 times about my grandma's death and that I need to go to her funeral which is out of the country. First of all, he takes 2 weeks to even NOTICE my holiday approval form, I had to physically hand it to him or else he probably would have still not seen it. Secondly, he takes a whole week to look at it and end up telling me that he's unable to give me my holiday because many people have already taken holiday that week. Thirdly, when I spoke to him face-to-face to come to some sort of arrangement, he first suspects me of LYING about my grandma's death by asking me the exact date when she died and then giving me some odd look when I said I'm unsure but it was 2 weeks ago. I don't know the exact date but it doesn't automatically mean I'm lying. I'm going to a funeral, not jetting off to Barbados for a holiday. He's such a jerk.
So in the end, I told him I can work my 8 hours during the weekday instead, which he agreed to look at and get back to me by Monday or Tuesday (mind you, it's now Wednesday). At this point, I don't even care if he says no to me going, I'm going whether he thinks I'm lying or not and if he doesn't sort his shit out for the rota next week, the responsibility will ultimately fall on him, not me. If he doesn't swap my shift, he'll have no one to work for him for the weekend lolol. I'm just tired of these new managers coming along thinking they got this when they really don't. My recent new manager who got moved downstairs just cracks under pressure, I asked her where some trousers go when I was helping to close and she just looks at me as if the world was ending. Then she goes "I don't know" and she wanted to say "that's for you to find out" but she knew that it WASN'T my job to find out so she didn't finish her sentence. I don't work on this floor, you do. Incompetent manager example 2.
Retail managers these days. Really makes me consider quitting. I'd love to work my way into the head office but really, this store is going downhill with all these managers coming and going, moving departments etc.
My illness has subsided, I still get the occasional cough but I feel a lot better compared to last week. It's good to know that I actually am getter better or else that would be worrying. My (supposedly) eczema is not really going though, because I have the discoid variation, I have small round eczema patches all over my body. They're not annoying or itchy though, just unsightly. My legs have it bad, I'm so glad it's not summer. Currently, it looks as if I have multiple mosquito bites all over my body.
Recently, my family and some friends have commented about my weight. I've lost a lot of weight recently probably through illness and just general diet changes. I haven't actively gone out to lose weight but I just think because I'm busy 24/7 you don't notice the effects it has on your body until you weigh yourself a few months later. I'm eating properly, smaller portions maybe, but still decently - I think it's just because my activity levels have gone up, I'm seeing more weight loss happening. Speaking of that, I tucked into sushi, panini oozing with cheese and then some pizza today. It's been a while since I've had 3 meals in one day. It felt good. I'm happy with my weight right now but just disgusted at my collarbones. I have really protruding collarbones naturally that when I lose some weight, they stick out so much that I look like I've lost a little too much weight =/
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